So, this is a bit of a heavy, controversial subject but I wanted to give my perspective on why I think pornography is bad…well, not just bad, but evil even. I hate it.
This is going to get slightly personal but I think I’m ready to share my experience.
First off, it’s not because I’m a Christian, although that has a bit of play in my reasoning, obviously. I believe it is a moral issue.
Pornography not only destroys our expectation of what sex is and can be, but it perverts and destroys our perception of other human beings, reducing them to objects for our own sexual gratification. Something to be used and tossed aside.
The more you view it the darker and more perverse it gets. It rewires your brain and you need harder and harder porn to get you aroused which is how it can cause erectile dysfunction. You become dependent on it, you have to watch it or think about it to get “in the mood”.
Your partner feels they are not enough for you and it puts strain in your relationship.
I know this because I have been on both sides, I am a recovering porn addict and have been the woman with an addicted significant other.
During the years I was addicted I felt disgusting and gross, my brain felt filthy. That’s the only way I can describe it. I felt like I was the only girl in the world with this problem and like something was wrong with me because only guys have this problem, right? I couldn’t talk to anyone about it, not even my mom. I was too embarrassed. I tried to justify myself but I knew I was doing something wrong. I managed to quit at one point but then fell back into it when I was going through a really dark time in my life. My first marriage was so toxic and stressful and then dealing with getting divorced before I was even 21 nearly destroyed me. I felt like nothing mattered, I had already screwed up so bad there was no way I could fix it.
And that was because I can’t fix it. No matter how much I wish I could change the past it’s not possible. But forgiveness is always possible and God was standing there waiting for me to come back to him.
I grew up in a Christian home, I went to church, I read my Bible, I made a commitment to purity and wrote every day in a journal to my future husband. That’s the kind of girl I was, and I still made mistakes and got addicted to porn and threw away my commitment to being pure. I nearly lost my relationship with God and my family.
I knew all along that pornography was bad, but as I realized I needed to change and go back to Christ I started researching porn and was horrified at everything I learned. I won’t go into details, it’s all out there if you want to research it yourself but I couldn’t continue how I was when my eyes were opened to how bad the entire industry was.
Pornography fuels sex trafficking, distorts our views of sex, causes e.d, destroys relationships, and I believe can even create rapists and child molesters.
I know this is an extreme view and I’m not saying every addict will become an evil person, but that doesn’t change the facts. A lot of rapists and predators started watching porn at a young age and graduated to having rough sex and experimenting with roleplaying and then progressed to raping.
I was sick when I researched all of this and started to understand how viewing all of this can warp and change our brains and perceptions and how we view people.
I want to respect people, I want to love people and I don’t ever want my brain to feel filthy again. And I want my relationship with my husband to be between us, not between us and fantasies and substitute the real physical connection we have with an artificial one.
Porn turns you into a spectator and not a participant. You focus more on your performance and less on the connection with your partner because you are used to watching people acting on a screen.
Life is too short to dream of great sex with someone else instead of participating in the raw, natural beauty of great sex with my husband.
It’s especially harmful when kids start watching it because it distorts their view of sex before they even have sex.
Believe me when I say I’m not a prude or hate sex. I love sex, it’s beautiful and wonderful (and lets be honest, freaking awesome) but I believe that sex should be between a man and his wife.
And no I’m not a homophobe, that implies I am afraid or hateful towards gays and I’m not. I may not agree with their lifestyle but that does not mean I hate them. But I digress.
I don’t want to debate about this, this is me sharing my story and my views. If you want proof I’m not going to give links, you can research this all yourself, the information is out there and it’s easy to find. I will say that if you are interested in learning more then check out Fight the New Drug. They have a lot of good information and stories from fighters.
I want the world to be better, I want my kids to be safe and to respect and love all people and pornography goes against all of that. I want to set an example of good relationships with real people for them so they know how to treat fellow humans and I couldn’t do that if I was my old self so I thank God for giving me the strength and the determination to grow into a better woman so that I can be the best wife and mother and human I can be.
If you are struggling with this, there is hope and no matter what you’ve done in your life you can come back to Christ and he will help you heal. Sure, it’s not overnight it can even take years of hard work but with God all things are possible and through His grace by faith we are saved.