4 ways to earn money from home

Hello lovelies!

I apologize for taking forever to write another post, I’ve been pretty busy. Here’s a short update:

  • My sister just moved into her own apartment, so I’ve been busy organizing the bedroom we were sharing. (I will have a video about that up on my Youtube Channel sometime, so stay tuned!)
  • I have discovered the world of animation (using Adobe After Effects) and I have been working on a little sketch that I will hopefully have finished sometime.
  • I have rejoined Roller Derby and I’m currently going through the Fresh Meat Course (pun not intended)
  • I have another coloring book I’m making
  • A Children’s chapter book that I’m working on
  • and of course, my novel…
  • and a YA fiction book…

Basically, I’ve been pretty busy.

Anyway, I wanted to drop in and give you guys a few ideas on how to earn some money from home, whether you use all of these together (like I’m doing), or just choose one and build on it. Whether your goals are to supplement your income or work from home full-time, I hope these can help get you started.

1) Affiliate Marketing

 

This is one of the best ways to earn money because most affiliate programs are free to join and all they require you to do is put links everywhere you can, write reviews, do videos, promote products you use and love however you can.

I haven’t personally earned too much from this yet, but I’m earning some now and learning a lot about which products to list.

I am using Amazon’s Affiliate program because

1) I love Amazon

2) most people love Amazon

3) it’s recognizable and people trust it.

To sign up, just click here and follow the steps. It’s really easy, but before you sign up, think about your niche, research and watch some videos and figure out a “game plan”. If you don’t have a blog you can get a free one from WordPress or another site (see: 4 Tips on Starting a Blog) or even just simply promote products on a Pinterest account.

How it works:

Basically, you sign up with an Affiliate program and the company pays you a small percentage to advertise for them. You share your links and write reviews on your blog or video and tell people how much you like *insert product here* and if they buy it, you earn some money from it.

*Something to note is that at least with Amazon’s program you have about 90 days (I believe) to actually sell a product before you’re 100% accepted. If you don’t sell anything you will go inactive and have to rejoin. I had to do this like, three times because I was signing up, popping on a few links and not doing anything else. So after I started doing research and really figured out how to do this a bit better I started selling some stuff. Not a lot, but it’s growing.

 

 2) Merchandise

 

If you are artistic at all, you could make some designs and sell them on shirts, mugs, stickers, etc. and if you don’t want to worry about printing them onto your own products there are plenty of websites out there where you can upload your design and have them print and sell them for you.

I only use Redbubble so far, but there are others out there such as:

and many more.

I’m still learning how to promote on there and what designs people are going for, but it’s fun. I love to create art and coming up with ideas and trying to guess what people are going to like is a fun process.

 

3) Create a book

 

Even if it’s just a short “how to” ebook on Amazon, if you can get some people to read it and leave a review you will start earning some extra income from sales without a whole lot of work.

Fun Fact: The reason having reviews is important is it helps Amazon’s algorithm and your book will rank higher on the search results. The higher you are, the easier it is to find your book and the more people will be interested in purchasing it. I lucked out with my Fun Facts about Alaskan Malamutes coloring book because there are only a few coloring books about malamutes out there so I’m already in the top results (and yes, I did just shamelessly plug my affiliate link to my coloring book in my blog post about earning money online…you getting some ideas now?)

The first month my book was out I earned about $30 and I have already earned some this month as well. It’s not a whole lot of money, sure. But it’s way better than nothing and the more books you get out there the better!

 

4) Youtube

 

This one is a little trickier, because Youtube recently changed their policy and you need at least 10,000 channel views before you can monetize your videos, BUT, even if you’re just starting your Youtube channel you can mix and match these ideas to your benefit. Youtube monetization is only just one way to earn money on Youtube, you can do video reviews for products and put your affiliate link in the description so people can check it out, you can link to products you use in a video whether the video is specifically about that product or not, you can promote shirts your selling on whichever site you have them on, you can promote your books you’re selling. There are a bunch of ways you can use a Youtube account to get the word out about whatever you have going on. The sooner you start, the more you interact and the more consistent engaging content you create the fast your channel will grow and then you can monetize your videos. Just give it a shot! you could be surprised.

 

None of these are quick and easy, they all take a lot of time and dedication. Some days you are going to feel discourage, like it’s taking way too long to get anywhere but the key is to not give up. I’ve been doing this for a bit and learning about it all for even longer, some days I feel like I don’t have enough to show for it, but then I look at what I have accomplished and even if it’s not super impressive, it’s more than when I wasn’t doing anything and wondering what on earth I should do. At least now I have a direction and I’m not giving up.

That’s all it takes. Entrepreneurship is more about character than earning money, in my limited experience. You have to get out of your head and puzzle through every obstacle, stick to the plan and just keep going. Ignore hateful/ignorant comments about being a bum/not wanting to get a “real job” or deigning to dream of something more than a typical 9-5 for the rest of your life. If you stay dedicated and you keep plunking away, you will get there. Perseverance is key in everything. You’ve got this!

 

 

waystoearnmoneyfromhome

I’m A Published Author!

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Hello lovelies!

So, I am now officially a published author! I have a coloring book written and illustrated (by me) up on Amazon! you can find it here.

I am SO excited! I know it is only one coloring book, but this is just the beginning. I have a million ideas and I have already started working on my second coloring book. I will hopefully have that one finished in the next couple weeks.

Anyways, enjoy the video and have a fantastic day!

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I want a Foundation, not to be Swept off My Feet

So, I’ve been doing a whole lot of thinking lately.

Digging deep into my heart and emotions as my brain replays clips from my past relationships. Where have I gone wrong, what could I have done differently…normal questions like that flood my mind, along with fighting the urge to once again tell myself I was SO stupid.

Negative thoughts won’t help anyone and they definitely don’t allow me to move forward either.

I have done a lot of healing and processing, but I can tell I still have a long way to go in the grand scheme of things. I still can’t believe that in only about four months it will have been a whole year since that fateful day in December 2016 when my whole life imploded.

One thing I have realized is that for the moment, I am perfectly content being single. Maybe I won’t be forever, but there’s a certain peace and comfort I feel at the thought of not having to try and pour so much of my empty, broken self into another person. I don’t have enough of anything to help anyone in that way right now and the kind of lover I am and the kind of lover I want to be are two vastly different things.

There are aspects I love about myself that are positive, but there are plenty of things I need to change about myself.

I love easily, passionately and wholeheartedly, this isn’t a bad thing, but it leads to fierce loyalty to the point where I won’t leave when I should because I feel so attached to that person that I can’t even fathom breaking things off, even when I can feel and know that it isn’t right.

I need to become more balanced, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that at all. I think it will come in time, but I need to give it time to happen.

When I fall in love, I become so dedicated to that person and their dreams that often my own dreams get moved to the back burner. I can’t…multitask my emotions for some reason, it’s all about them. I don’t think this is necessarily a really bad thing…but I need to be able to hang on to who I am and not just completely change to match someone else.

I feel like this is all stuff I should have figured out years ago, but there’s no use dwelling on that, I need to work this out now and allow myself to grow in these areas that I’ve noticed.

Another thing I have realized is I don’t want to be swept off my feet or fought over. I have had plenty of young men flirt with me and lately I have caught myself rolling my eyes. It feels forced, it feels fake…it’s like they try so hard and you can just tell it isn’t natural and I’d rather people just get to know me and let the conversation flow naturally.

I don’t want to be swept off my feet by some magical, sweet-tongued, unrealistic prince…I want a strong, capable warrior to build a strong foundation with me. I want a comfortable love, not passionless, but the kind that starts as a small spark and maintains a slow flame that keeps you warm all day not just a burst of flame that dies after a while and turns to ash.

I don’t want to be dragged to fancy restaurants where I’ll feel out of place and uncomfortable. I want someone who will take me out camping under the stars on a whim because we both had the time. Someone who will sing with me to songs we barely know the lyrics to and not care if one or both of us is off tune because we’re just having too much fun to care.

I want a real love, not a fairytale. I’m not saying anything is wrong with fairytales, I enjoy them, but I need a trustworthy man, someone who won’t run when it gets tough and won’t fall in love with another princess because he’s easily distracted by shiny things.

I haven’t quite figured out who I am even, which is sad really given that I’m 25 and a mother. I defined myself as a stay-at-home-wife-and-mom for so long, even before I was married I had wanted that for myself and now I’m redefining who I am and I’m realizing that I’m wild and unpredictable. Some days I wake up ready to take on the world, and others I want to lie in bed because the emotion feels crushing.

I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this…I’m just trying to process what I’ve been feeling lately. I never thought I would get to a point in my life where I’d be okay with being single. I know that someday I’ll want a man in my life as more than a friend, but right now I’m content with waiting on God’s timing. I’m definitely not out to find him anytime soon.

Right after my husband left me with nothing, I looked at my mom with tears in my eyes and a broken heart and said “I never want to be dependent on a man again,” and I still hold to that. I will make my own way in the world and if a man wants to join me, he can. If not, my life won’t be any less of a rich adventure.

 

 

 

Adobe Spark (9)

Art supplies!

This post contains affiliate links meaning I will earn a small commission off anything you purchase should you purchase anything (at no extra cost to you), this helps support my social media platforms so I can continue blogging and making videos. Thank you for your support!

Hello lovelies!

So, with the little bit of income I have from my art business I’ve reinvested into more art supplies to try. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you’ve probably seen this video but here it is again just in case

This was my first go at using them, I’m so used to just using pencils or digital drawing so the doodles aren’t all that great since I’m not well practiced with them, but these are really cool! This was done on printer paper so they bled more than they would on thicker paper.

This is the result of my second attempt at using these pens. The paper in this sketchbook is thicker so it worked better but the paper used in this notebook is a little “fuzzy” so blending was a tad tricky but overall, it worked pretty well! I love leatherbound sketchbooks and so far I really like the quality of this one. 

These pens will probably work well on watercolor paper but I don’t have any at the moment. As soon as I get some I’ll do a test run and try to record that as well. But for now, here’s my little post about art supplies.

If you’d like to check these pens or the journal out here are some links:

Tombow Dual Brush Pens – Portrait
Leatherbound Sketchbook

 

 

 

Adobe Spark (12)

(video) Book Haul: Toddler Books, Mysteries, GoT and HORROR

*Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel!*

This post contains affiliate links meaning I will earn a small commission off anything you purchase should you purchase anything (at no extra cost to you), this helps support my social media platforms so I can continue blogging and making videos. Thank you for your support!

Hello lovelies!
I decided to do a book haul video since I’ve never done one and they seem fun!

Here are the titles:

Piglet is Entirely Surrounded by Water,” – A. A. Milne
Winnie the Pooh and Some Bees” – A. A. Milne

Another Monster at the End of This Book” – Sesame Street
Green Eggs and Ham” – Dr. Seuss
Richard Scarry’s Bedtime Stories
Miracles of Jesus,” – Golden Book
Comfort for a Child’s Heart,” – David & Helen Haidle

M.C. Beaton books:
“Agatha Raisin and the Case of the Curious Curate”
Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham
Agatha Raisin and the Love from Hell

(Hamish Macbeth Mysteries:)

“Death of a Bore”
“Death of a Poison Pen”

“A Clash of King’s” – George R. R. Martin
“A Feast for Crows” – George R. R. Martin

“Bag of Bones” – Stephen King

Cabin Expansions & “DIETS”

Greetings lovelies!

Sorry it’s been awhile since my last post. I decided I would try and update everyone a little bit more in depth on here. I uploaded a video a few day’s ago on YouTube, you can check it out (PLEASE like and subscribe! it helps me out immensely!) but I didn’t go into details much so this will kind of expand on the recent happenings of everything right now.

Divorce – divorce is over, finally. I’ve learned a lot over the last 7 months of going through this…mostly about myself. I’ve done a lot of healing during that time as well, I’ve made some really amazing new friends, I’ve started using my artistic talents to start my own business, I’m strengthening my relationship with God…life is strangely amazing and I feel incredibly blessed. Sure, I have my moments, this isn’t ideal, I wanted my marriage to last, I wanted my son to have two loving parents to raise him…but you can’t force someone to love you and you can’t force them to try. If they aren’t going to put forth the effort to fix things and decide to abandon you without an explanation…do you really want to spend the rest of your life with them? loving someone who constantly had one foot out the door really took a toll on my heart. I’m still dealing with wounds from it that I’m afraid I’ll always have scars from. But I’ve learned so much through this process, about myself and the ways I could have done things different (I know I am not perfect and don’t pretend to be.) and also about allowing people to just treat me any way they want to. I’m learning to gently lay down boundaries to protect myself and others too really…and I’m thankful that the worst that could have happened, didn’t and I still pray for him. How could I not? he’s still the father of my child, no matter what happens he’ll always have some role to play in my son’s life and I just hope that he can pull himself together and be a better parent than he had growing up, for our sons sake. I know he has that potential in him because I believe most people have to potential for greatness. They just have to believe in themselves and put in the work. Life isn’t easy. Change is hard, accepting we have imperfections and need to change is hard. It’s taken a lot for me to accept my part in my past failures and process that and change my attitude. It’s easy to get caught up in how unfair everything is, but that doesn’t change anything and only keeps us stuck with no hope of getting anywhere.

So in the words of Elsa…

giphy.gif

(You’re welcome)

“Diet” – I hate that word, don’t you hate that word? that word implies I’m restricting and being denied something because of people abusing that word when really, a diet is what a creature eats over the course of their life, such as a diet of hay, grass and oats for a horse (in the mose simplistic of explanations.). When I say diet, I don’t mean “let’s give up all the foods we love and drink bone broth until we starve away the fat,” there’s so many unhealthy “diets” out there. That isn’t what I mean. A diet isn’t going to give you results, a diet is going to damage you. A lifestyle change is what everyone needs and anyone who has lost weight (and kept it off) will tell you that.

Anyway, mini rant over.

So. After the start of the downward spiral into divorce I kind of fell back into old, unhealthy eating habits. I was eating pizza, chocolate, ice cream…I was still trying not to overeat, but I wasn’t doing much physical activity since it was winter for one, but I was so unmotivated and just barely surviving emotionally. Giving my toddler the attention he needed was already hard enough, but I managed to do that and I would fall apart whenever he was asleep. I didn’t want him to see my heartache. It was rough, those first few months. Everything seemed hopeless and pointless. I’m so thankful that I got through those hard days, God is good.

I tried to get back on track a few times, but anytime I did something would happen that would send me back into bingeing on sugar. Which was terrible, I triggered three migraine attacks in a row and I knew I needed to change. So I stopped buying candy. That helped, but it wasn’t enough.

So last week I resolved to start walking again. With my artwork and writing it’s easy to sit a lot. Plus still nursing my son has me sitting a lot as well. We’ve had bears around the area I live so going jogging with the stroller isn’t that appealing right now. Hiking is harder with the threat of bears as well. So I’ve been making due with walking around the house, standing more, and doing bodyweight (and weightlifting) exercises. I’m feeling tons better.

I’m back to not eating processed foods, and eating more veggies. I’ll talk more about all that in a video sometime and go over exactly what I’ve been doing, but for now, I’m feeling SO much better. My mood swings are going away, I feel more energetic and I’m excited about the future.

Cabin Expansion – In my vlog I linked to above (and here) I mentioned how my parent’s are getting the cabin expanded.

Our cabin was originally a 16×32 log cabin made somewhere around 1965, and we built on a mudroom/entryway, bathroom and some bedrooms. Even with only a few of us still at home it still feels really small for this many people, so my parents decided to get a loan so they can expand the cabin. Since we ended up having to stay here instead of getting to move to a warmer climate we need to make life a little easier on my parents, especially during the long winter months.

(The guys working on the foundation are actually here right now working outside, it’s exciting!)

So the new addition is going to be two stories, my parents will have a good size bedroom upstairs with their own bathroom (so 5+ people don’t have to share one bathroom anymore) and the downstairs will be big enough for a workout room so we can have the treadmill and our weights and plenty of space for hula hooping! this is going to make winter so much easier to deal with.

This also means that I will be getting my “own” room (I’ll still be sharing with Tavo, obviously). Which means that vlogging will be ten times easier because I will have enough space to have a little “vlogging corner” and more privacy to film something. I’m hoping to get on a schedule where I get one video and one blog post out every week, so two entries basically every week. Theoretically. I’ll keep you posted!

My Art Business – Chances are you’ve already seen some of my work that I’ve posted online, but I’m starting to work from home as a logo designer/artist (Maybe I should just say Graphic Artist? since I don’t just do logos…). I’m slowly and steadily growing my client base, it’s mostly through word of mouth and the little bit of outreach I have with my social media accounts, but it’s a start! I’m super excited. It’s amazing to be turning something I’m passionate and have a talent for into a living. Such an incredible journey to be on and I’m so ridiculously thankful to people putting their trust in me and everyone being so utterly encouraging. I am beyond blessed.

Well, those are the major highlights of what’s going on in my little corner of the world. I hope everyone is doing well! if you have any ideas for blog posts you would like to have me write or videos you think I should make, please comment or message me! I’d love to hear from you.

x

 

Bad Boys

This topic is a bit different, but I had been mulling it over for a while and decided to try and share my thoughts on it.

I have heard guys complain that they have been passed over by girls for ‘bad boys’ countless times. They express their frustration that they see their women friends treated so bad by these jerks and don’t understand why it keeps happening, why do women always go for jerks? especially when there these nice guys are waiting for the chance to treat them better. (Key word is ‘waiting’ guys, don’t forget to take the initiative! but maybe that’s another topic…)

This thinking has always irritated me because I have never been the type to look at a ‘bad boy’ and think “Yes, that’s what I want!”. Do women ever really do that? and yet I’ve always felt passed over by nice guys for bratty girls. *sigh* Can anyone really win?

Well, I asked my Facebook friends what they thought and quickly discovered that for one, the definition of ‘bad boy’ is a little up for interpretation.

To me, it means the cocky, confident, trouble making types that were into drinking, smoking and drugs (uhm, gross. Well, not the cocky and confident part, the smoking and drugs bit.). These are the typical ones that you’d think were possessive and physically abusive. (I realize a lot of this is generalization, but I’m sure you see my point.)

To some it means more of the rebel, biker dude. Guy’s with that same cocky and confident demeanor who seem more apathetic and aloof but though they may be rough around the edges, once you dig a little deeper you find a sweetheart and they really aren’t “bad” in the character sense.

I think this is one of my biggest mistakes in my life, thinking that “bad boys” look like bad boys. Because they don’t all look it. Not all villains will look like villains, some look like  the hero.

This is something I knew, but I didn’t quite understand.

You hear the saying “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover” all the time, but I never really applied that thinking.

I figured the shy, geeky boys were safe. The lone wolf, introverted, quiet guy just needed a friend.

This doesn’t mean that wasn’t true, but sometimes the “bad boy” hides it well. You would never look at him and think “danger, Wilhelmina, danger!”

This whole topic is way more intense than I thought it would be. After asking my initial question I felt like it brought up a billion others.

But for the sake of this post, I’ll state the question I had thought of that started this whole thing…

Why do women pass up good guys for bad boys?

First off, I don’t think we do it on purpose. Obviously, I cannot speak for all women, but from the bit I have learned about myself and have understood from listening to other women I can form a theory at least.

Confidence is attractive on anyone and generally speaking, ‘bad boys’ are usually more confident. They make their ‘move’ and ‘get the girl’ and after the initial excitement things start to grow ‘boring’ to them and their true colors come out. Unfortunately at that point the woman is so emotionally entangled into the relationship that she can’t understand what is happening when the guy starts making rude remarks about her appearance or giving her restrictions and twisting things around on her to make her feel like his issues are her fault. She’ll wonder “what happened,” “why doesn’t he love me anymore,” “what did I do?” She’ll even justify his anger with thinking either she instigated it, or she’ll think “well, he hasn’t hit me,” because we’re kind of programmed to think that if we aren’t being hit we aren’t being abused. (*Buzzer* wrong)

People are generally pretty quick to judge women who stay in these relationships, but in order to help the women you need to be able to empathize and realize that they didn’t willingly enter into these relationships thinking “hey, here’s a jerk, I’ll make a life with him!” no one in their right mind would do this, that’s a ridiculous assumption.

Women stay because they love them. Women stay because they believe the lies that these bad boys are changing, and some even do change at least tiny aspects of themselves and start trying and that is enough to make the woman stay and support him in his endeavors to become a better person. Even when she isn’t getting any of her emotional needs fulfilled, even if there is another guy willing to meet those needs and give her everything she wants, it doesn’t matter because she is in love. It may be misplaced love, but it’s still love.

Women stay because he isn’t always angry. He isn’t always mean. When he’s in a good mood he’s really fun. But when he’s in a bad mood…

My theory is that when women are met with a man who respect them, who speak genuinely and treat them how they should be treated it puts our guard up.

What does this guy want from us? because experience has taught us that only people who want something from us treat us nicely. Even when all this guy may want is to spend his life treating us well. But, the really terrifying moment comes when you start to fall for the good guy.

See, with a good guy we run the risk of actually falling and falling hard. That vulnerability is terrifying so we tend to shy away from it.

What if they turn out to not be such a good guy? what are they hiding? are they genuine? what if they are a good guy but we’re too damaged?

Really, you can’t know these answers until you know the guy better. Sure, some may be hiding some ulterior motive, others may be genuine. But until we push past the fear and allow these men into our lives we can’t know for sure.

Does this mean to ignore your gut instinct? heavens no! I did that too many times and where has that brought me? it’s good to be wary, but don’t reject something that could be good just because people have trashed you in the past.

I think the bottom line is we women need to start seeing the value in ourselves for ourselves. Until we realize that we’re going to wind up letting anyone and everyone treat us however they want.

My advice to good guys, as a woman who has met plenty of frogs in the pursuit of Prince Charming, is this:

Keep being good. 

Never stop.

Don’t compromise your integrity because you see so many women going for jerks.

Stay true to your character and never stop respecting other humans, because in the end you will find someone who will appreciate all those good qualities you have. She may have lots of damage from bad boys, she may have none at all but I promise you that either way if you treat her with understanding and respect, she will see that you’re genuine and let you into her heart. Just be patient. Sure, take the initiative and actively pursue (we like that) but when you know she’s wary just reassure her. It’ll pay off in the end.

Glorious Clumsiness

Hello lovelies!

It’s been awhile. I’ve been busy with life and trying to figure out what ‘life’ even is at this point.

But, I had a bit of a revelation today and wanted to share because I found it pretty interesting.

So, I have always been a bit clumsy.

While I don’t trip constantly or anything I have a tendency to bump into things and drop things. There are times when I do trip, especially if I’m deep in thought or in the middle of a conversation, and sometimes I catch things that I drop, other times I don’t.

Mainly this happens because there are just too many things going through my brain all at once, trying to multitask and think of all the things I need to do or have to do so I wind up moving too fast and dropping or bumping into something.

I thought I had outgrown my clumsiness because for the last (nearly) five years I have been much less clumsy. I think I’ve dropped a cup or plate maybe two or three times in that whole time. So I thought I had outgrown my clumsiness.

WRONG.

Within the last two weeks I have accidentally dropped three coffee cups, a bowl (two of which broke), slipped and fell while hiking and wound up with random bruises from bumping into stuff that I don’t even have a memory of doing.

Then, this morning, I poured myself a cup of coffee; got it all fixed the way I like it and set it on the counter before stepping away to finish something else.

I don’t know how it happened but I moved too fast and the cup missed the counter and fell, spilling coffee all over the floor. Thankfully, it didn’t break.

I started to get frustrated because; SPILLED COFFEE (*cries*) and also feeling insanely clumsy and I haven’t felt that way in so long and was slightly embarrassed even if it was only me in the room anyway.

But then I realized something. For the last five years, maybe I haven’t been clumsy but I also haven’t been very artistic or creative.

I had spurts of it, but not like now.

I was discouraged, I didn’t sing, I didn’t draw hardly ever because I just never was in the mood for it, I was bored constantly, I rarely sat and read anything, everytime I tried to pray I felt disconnected from God, I never played my guitar because I felt like it was twangy and after a few comments about my voice being “screechy” I never wanted to sing again anyway, so what was the point in playing guitar? basically, I became hollow and all the things that were part of who I am, suffered.

But now. NOW…

Now, I’m singing daily. Drawing more. Laughing more. Reading more. Praying more. Playing my guitar. I WROTE A SONG.

I am finding myself again.

And with that, my clumsiness is returning.

It may not be the most amazing feature, but to me it’s a sign that I am healing. I’m returning to myself. I haven’t seen this girl in so long and I just started laughing and then crying kneeling there in a puddle of spilled coffee.

I hadn’t realized how much of a hollow shell of myself I had become. I had moments and echos of my artistic, creative self, but I was so numb. I was apathetic. I hid my passion and tried to let it die because I had no way of letting it shine and now I’m feeling emotions again like it’s the first time and it can be overwhelming some days, but it make’s me happy.

As much stress as I have in my life right now, I just can’t believe how insanely blessed I am.

So the next time you start to get discouraged by being clumsy, just think about how amazing it is to have so much going on in your head that you rush because you’re just trying to get as much out of life as you can. Sure we may need to slow ourselves down sometimes, but there is nothing wrong with you. You’re just you, and that is beautiful.

God IS good.

All the time.

 

gloriousclumsiness

#Blessed

Hello lovelies!

****Disclaimer: I am a Christian and this post contains some spiritual revelations, so if that isn’t your cup of tea, feel free to skip over it. x ****

Sunday I had a “God moment” for lack of a better term. It really was more like an all day thing though, it started with church and took a while for me to really fully realize what God was telling me, but it was amazing and I wanted to share with you all.

At Church the past few Sunday’s the sermon series has been about Job. Which I found hilariously ironic because before the series had started I told my Mom that with everything going on in my life, I felt so much like Job. I identify with his story in ways I never thought I would. During this last sermon that was wrapping up the series the pastor shared this verse:

James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.”

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And as I thought about it more and more as we were going home and before I had to leave again that evening to take my son to visitation, I started to think back to when I was younger and would listen to people’s testimonies and think they were amazing, I couldn’t relate as well with most of them because I was raised in a loving Christian home and going to Church, I had given my life to Christ out of love at a young age, at that point I hadn’t ever really experienced tragic loss, there was some family drama and even though that was painful it still didn’t feel like a great big thing that I needed redemption from. I felt like my testimony was “boring” somehow because of how peaceful my life had been, all 14 years of it at that point.

Boy has THAT changed.

I miss my innocent days, honestly. Before I went through my apathetic Christian stage and made some bad choices. But throughout that day I realized that sure, this situation I’m in sucks, and yes, I wish it was different, but now? now I have a testimony of how amazing God can be even after we go through a period of ignoring him and seeking our own path.

I never rejected God, but I chose to live with my husband before we were married and have a sexual relationship out of marriage. I couldn’t go to church because of the guilt I felt, I couldn’t open my Bible to read it because of my guilt, I couldn’t hardly pray, I would start trying to pray like I normally had and I would stop because how could I ask God for anything or even just speak to Him when I was not only blatantly disobeying Him but dishonoring my parents as well. It was a really hard time in my life, I had never felt like I couldn’t speak with God like that before or since. I know I could have still prayed, but I didn’t feel right about it because my spirit wasn’t right with Him.

So that was my first revelation; that I now have a testimony from a different perspective that I will be able to share eventually in order to help others through similar situations.

I felt more at peace after that, going to church and worshiping normally leaves me with that feeling anyway, but I felt like I’m allowing God to show me my purpose and trusting him more than I ever have.

So, after this I took my son to visitation had an unpleasant encounter with someone that left me a bit spooled up and I called my mom while walking around Target for the two hours I had to be in town waiting. After speaking to my Mom I felt more at peace again, then I got a text from my sister that left me stressed out and worrying once again. As I was driving home and my brain kept turning over what she had told me I stopped myself and turned the radio up louder. The song that was playing was David Dunn’s ‘I wanna Go Back’ I’ve heard this song quite a few times, but it hit home more at this moment and I just started singing as loud as I could and worshiping. If you haven’t heard it here is the chorus:

“..I wanna go back
To Jesus loves me this I know
For the Bible tells me
For the Bible tells me so
I wanna go back
To this little light
Gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine
I wanna go back..”

It just hit me right at that moment because I really do miss the days when life was simpler, when God was all I needed and I started to realize that this storm I am going through is exactly what I needed to remember that God really is all that I need and that no matter what happens, He is always there for me.

That’s when the song changed and Toby Mac’s “Beyond Me” started playing.

Call it a reason to retreat
I got some dreams that are bigger than me
I might be outmatched, outsized, the underdog in the fight of my life
Is it so crazy to believe

That You gave me the stars put them out of my reach
Called me to waters a little too deep
Oh, I’ve never been so aware of my need
You keep on making me see
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond me
Yeah, it’s out of my league
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond me
It’s way beyond …

Anything that I got the strength to do
In over my head keeps me countin’ on You
I’m leaving the sweet spot, sure shot
Tradin’ it all for the plans You got
Is it so crazy to believe

You take me to the place where I know I need You
Straight to the depths that I can’t handle on my own
And Lord I know, I know I need You
So take me to Your great …
Take me to Your great unknown

I have always loved this song, but I started singing along and as I sang my revelation really sank in and I just started laughing. This warm feeling of peace and happiness started to wash over me and I just worshiped while driving down the road. It was amazing, it was wonderful, it was a total Spiritual moment. I could feel God’s presence with me in the vehicle, driving home with me.

But that’s not the end of my story, nope. As I was turning onto the driveway to head home, guess who was stopped on his way out? yup. The man I have spent the last four years devoted to, the one I was praying for, the one I had a child with, the one I forgave and loved and fought for even though he broke my heart countless times, the man I would have never given up on.

I continued driving and singing my way down the road and at that moment, God revealed to me that this was the third time today the devil has tried to steal my joy. Every time I had started to feel at peace something had happened to get my anxiety going and make me worry again. I thought back to every moment the last few months where I have had my joy taken and I refused to have this moment taken from me right now. I can’t even describe accurately what happened next but it was amazing and completely out of my comfort zone, I know I am going to sound like a crazy person here for a moment, but I just laughed in satans face as I rebuked him. It was the most empowering moment I have had in my life (aside from giving birth, because that trumps everything and was one of the first times in my adult life I had felt the Holy Spirit’s presence) I just spoke and the words came out. I told him he had no place in my life, that my joy and my faith was in God, that no matter what happens in my life he cannot have me and he will not win. I am going to serve God til the end of my life and nothing this world throws at me will change that, if anything the more pain and heartache I receive will push me closer to God, so bring it on.

I realized that this situation is the most amazing thing that could have happened to me, because without this heartbreaking situation I would have continued my lukewarm existence, I wouldn’t have found the strength I have right now, I wouldn’t have pursued Christ like I am at this moment, I wouldn’t have this testimony to share. I am so thankful for absolutely everything in my life and I am done dwelling on my mistakes. God has taken them and thrown them as far as the east is from the west, he has washed away my sins and I am free to be in his presence, a new creation and claim myself as the Daughter of Christ. How amazing is that? how wonderful is it that God looked at me and said, “YOU are my beloved, I am with you even though you have fought against me, even though you have disobeyed me, I know this is going to hurt you but I will be with you through the whole situation and I will help you grow into the wonderful, beautiful, strong woman that I know you are and you will be able to help others through your experience so that they can experience the fullness and peace that I bring,”

Amen. I am so blessed. I can’t even express how blessed I am right now. I know that sounds crazy, it still makes me laugh when I realize that I am thankful for this horrible situation, how can I be thankful for this? I have never been at this point in my faith and as much as it kind of scares me, I am so excited and on fire for God. This is why I was created, to share how amazing God is, how forgiving He is, that no matter how much I had ignored him for years He is moving in my life and I can see his hand in every step of the way.

Praise God.

He is Good, always and forever.

 

#blessed